Thoughts on Friendship

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

These verses have been in the forefront of my mind as I am facing many emotions in regards to friendship.  What is a friend?  I believe it is one who shares in each of these "times" with another.  Truly loving them in times of joy and sorrow. 

These past several weeks have brought many challenges as a friend.  Ups and downs wouldn't even begin to describe the juggling of emotions we have shared together.  Yet through it all, there was a constant joy, hope, and comfort in the lives of us all as we share the same dependence and faith in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  This journey started with a friend who shared her wonderful news about her expecting her third child.  It was a wonderful time of rejoicing!   However, a week after hearing of her joy, there came deep sadness as she found out she had a miscarriage.  Soon after, there was yet another friend who was sharing the joy of pregnancy only to share the next night that she too was experiencing signs of a miscarriage.  How devastating!  I've never experienced this depth of sadness and would not dare to venture out and say "I know what they are going through".  Nevertheless, I felt sympathy for them through their loss. 

The coming days led to yet another round of emotions as a dear friend shared her joy of expecting a third child.  Due to migraines and already experiencing nausea, she too has been at the forefront of my mind.  We are excited and looking forward to the joy of this new blessing!  However, there is yet two other sweet ladies and a family member who has not yet been able to have children.  They too will always be in my thoughts and prayers as I cannot begin to imagine the emptiness they feel.  How do we, as family members and friends, love others through their ups and downs?  How can we be excited for one yet feel sadness and sorrow for others? 

Sitting here this morning, The Lord brought several verses to mind...

Galatians 6:2
Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. 

Ecclesiastes 4
9Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. 11Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? 12And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 18:24
A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother.

Proverbs 20:6
Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?

What kind of friend are you?  Far too often, I have not been there for another because of my own selfishness.  Maybe they have offended me and I have no obligation to be friendly to them.  They have in fact hurt me.  Or maybe I want to justify not bearing their burden because there was a time in my life when I was rejoicing or facing sorrow and they were not there for me.  I owe them nothing, right?  Wrong!  How often have I failed Jesus, the one who came to this earth, lived a sinless life, then died for me?  Far to often, my friends, we fail Him.  And he is our Creator.  He commands us to "love one another" even over our own self. 

Maybe you are facing many challenges today as you seek to minister to those you love.  Hold on to these verses and realize we cannot put all of our focus on just one but must demonstrate love to all.  Rejoice with those who are rejoicing and mourn with those who mourn.  Love as Jesus would expecting nothing in return! 

"My friends are my estate."
- Emily Dickinson

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
-Donna Roberts

"True friendship is sitting together in silence and feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had."